When I was 17 I was dramatic. I was in love, heartbroken and soon to graduate high school. I wrote “poems” that I posted on Facebook. Today I looked through them and discovered that I had written 71 poems in the year 2010 and was very fond of rhyming. Eek! The best part of looking back was seeing all the comments from my classmates who had apparently been feeling the same way I had.
Here are a few of my favorites:
You’re a supplement, a salve
I am
a far cry from the perfect girl
altered by my decisions
at odds with myself
deviating from the norm
contrasting with the times
distant from being acceptable
clashing with the people
offbeat not on track
opposed to the views
peculiarly happy
otherwise pissed
a contradiction
a flower child
a mistake
I can’t breathe in this city,
the air is too dirty and too thick.
It clogs up my lungs with it’s infinite amount of doubts and what ifs.
Will I come back to this abyss of people I’m not sure I’ll even miss?
The ones that break my heart but pull me back and fill me with bliss.
You let go and I let go too
I was gonna tell you to come be with me,
to come see with me,
but you had other plans.
I was gonna tell you to come walk with me,
to just stroll with me,
but you were holding other hands.
I tell you now to just talk to me
but you can’t find the time.
And when I tell you I’m going
you say you’re gonna cry.
You’ve got me flying westward, out of time, off the pages, out of line, flying straight out of my mind. Heading towards your lips, into your mouth and down your esophagus. To erupt your heart, intrude your brain and leave only images of me. That fill your very eyes with sweeter times that were forgotten oh so quickly and like butterflies they’ll flicker by and  disappear as soon as I’m near you. Because I’m heading straight towards you but I’ll never reach you.

Reading these poems was a lot like reading someone else’s diary. I was intrigued, guilty and a little embarrassed. The ability to reflect, forgive and not quite forget is indeed a blessing. I thought I’d share these for shits and giggles and to remind myself that being alive is ridiculous. 7 years later I’m proud to say I’m in a positive and balanced place in life. I no longer live in NYC, have flown quite a bit and have found the greatest love I’ve ever known. Maybe I should start rhyming again?

To my love:


It’s time for some cuddles, some snuggles and good use of downtime
I’m depleted – in need of your weight against mine
It relaxes and settles the thoughts in my mind
I’m freezing – I’m colder without you by my side
It shelters, makes-everything-better when we’re in a bind
Come over, get closer, it’s warmer inside
There’s laughter, sweet candor and kisses goodnight

I love it, need all of it – your loving, it’s time. ding

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